This is a diary post. This is not for educational purposes. This is not for people to decipher the meaning of this blog. It is a diary post. It is for me to unleash a pain that has been bothering me lately. So, please, stop analyzing me.
I just had another nightmare. Someone needs help, and it requires my attention, but I decided to ignore it because I am afraid. I woke up panting. Then, just right now, this overwhelming presence of sadness are lingering in my surrounding. I am sad again, this depression is trying to put itself back into my lively environment.
I am annoyed because it is affecting my studies. I cannot concentrate while doing homework because I will end up staring at something, thinking about something that I should no longer be thinking about. I am upset because I do not want to think about it anymore. I am living my life without them, without her, without him, without them.
I am deeply sad, and I do not know why? Because I miss someone? I know it is my depression, and I am scared that I will annoy people again. I just don’t want to bother anyone anymore that I would just rather pretend to be okay. I need a good crying session with someone.
I’ll be okay, I just have to write it down because it is a great way to express my inner pain. I just hope that others can understand what I am going through. I’ll be okay, I need to be okay.
We will find out.
Provider's Hands, Heart, and Mind 