Male Story: Shopping At Victoria’s Secret

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I felt like a valiant knight that went through a battle that most men won’t dare entering. I felt a sense of courage and bravery for overcoming something so uncomfortable and embarrassing. A journey to no man’s land. This is my adventure when I went shopping at Victoria’s Secret Lingerie Store.

Technically, I did not buy anything but I was helping a dear friend to buy something for his girlfriend. He asked me for support as we enter into no man’s land. I knew that stepping over that black entry line that there’s no going back. “This is it. Remember, you are not here to look for boobies, but to accompany a friend, You are not a pervert.” as I repeatedly tell myself as every steps seems to diminish my bravado soul. I just wanted to look down.

The first few minutes, we were discussing what his girlfriend likes to wear, and of course the size. We had no idea what we were doing. We saw drawers with bra sizes, but we could not find the one we were looking for, a wireless bra.

However, it was strange that we did not received any customer service from someone because we were there for almost 15 minutes looking through drawers and flipping bras like a madman. So the next step needed to be taken care of; ask for help.

Unfortunately, the first helper was rude. I have no idea what she was thinking, if she was judging us like perverts or fools. We were serious, we needed a bra without wires and we needed help because we did not know what we were looking for. Don’t they get credits for helping customers? Her attitude did not help our diminishing manliness. Well, She only pointed a section of the store where to look for.

Here we go again, for another 10 minutes we were just opening drawers, and talking to each other how uncomfortable it was because people were strangely staring. I can see us on social media viral videos already, “Two perverts….” But we have to finish what we came here for.

Second attempt: Ask a mother-looking sales lady for help. Since the first helper was useless.

And this time, she was our angel, we call her Auntie Lorna. She told us what bra sizes are if they are small, medium, or large. She told us to follow her for more choices. She told us that we were looking for “bralettes.” I just learned a new word. I knew that she was selling pricey stuff to us, but we did not care because her attitude calms our nervousness. And she keeps telling us that she finds us charming and sweet for buying lingerie for our wife. (She thought it was for our wives). We were glad that someone cares for guys like us, who are clueless about this kind of shopping.

Just like a good sale person, she started offering deals. She told us to buy panties too because if we bought a pair, we get to have a free perfume. That was not the plan, so I looked at my friend, since, we have been there for half an hour, so what the heck, let’s go for it. And yes, we were touching and flipping panties, colorful ones.

That was when, we were both just laughing and enjoying our time that we no longer think about stranger’s weird stares. We were checking for materials if they are comfortable. We checked panties that were called bikinis and shorties (I learned that from Auntie Lorna). We were looking for style and fashion. We were actually shopping for female underwear like a guy shopping for clothes or shoes. We had a mission: Get a pair of undies!

30 minutes gone. It was funny that we spent more time at Victoria’s Secret than the time we were at Men’s Shoe store. We have three pairs of underwear. We thought we would only get one perfume, but the saleslady said, we get three free perfumes too. Score! I checked the perfume price, $54. What? That is over $150 total of free stuff. We’re taking it. And it was nice that my friend said that he’ll give one to me (not the underwear, silly!) because he’ll give the other one to his aunt. I accepted it because I want to give it to someone special. So, belated Happy Mother’s day, momma! You got an expensive Victoria’s secret perfume. Plus, my friend got a free towel ($40) for spending more than $75. Nice! In total, our free stuff was more expensive than the three pairs that we bought. Mission accomplished.

Leaving the place was different. It felt like we have done something so valiant. When entering was shameful, leaving was admirable. We were like heroes who went through a battlefield. We were like knights who fought a fierce dragon. We felt more manly than ever before. Our guts were sharpen and we felt like we can do anything at that moment. It was a friendly bonding experience that we will sure to remember. And we truly believe that none of our guy friends would even dare to do what we just went through. Can we get a medal or an award for this?

So thanks to Auntie Lorna for helping us go through the struggle. That was definitely a memorable and meaningful adventure. And good luck to my friend, and to his girlfriend.

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