He Made It Extraordinary: A Child Abuse Poem

I got something to share

I’m a little embarrass

It is about my failures

My mistakes, my past

My sinful life

That was taken by a Savior

I don’t know why

But I heard He died for me

Even though

He knew I was a traitor

I wasn’t bullied

Because I was the bully

I made people suffer

Put them into shame

One kid to another

I was the master of pain

The epitome of monster

Now that I’m older

I have this guilt

Haunting me since forever

I went to depression

Suicidal, and total isolation

I was hurting friends, family, and church members

Went to therapy

Seeking for answers

Then all of a sudden

I was broken

Torn apart

Hurting, begging, dying

Asking for Heaven

To rain grace for this heart and soul

I was decaying

Coz the kid that was a bully

Was actually a victim

I was suppressing my pain

From the hurt that all started from the beginning 

When I was only three years old

Taken my innocence

And corrupted my soul

Damaged my heart

Abused to the core

And hurting others was my only option

In order for the inner child

To cry out for desperation

But no one answered

I grew up feeling like a monster

I placed it on my mind

Buried in this dark hole

Hoping for hell to swallow me later

That’s me, that’s my story

I can end it there, and let it be

But the story just started

Because Jesus was with me

When I was alone

When I was crying

When I was dying

And even when it was happening

I will not let the past haunt me

He already died for all the things that happened

He rescued me from this pit that I was trapped in

I am free from the sin that was rooted in my bones

Now I am just sharing

So that You, who’s reading

Will be brave enough to stand up

Rise up

And not be silent

The pain will always be there

But his love is bigger

Better

Stronger

Than any trials and struggles

Because your story of redemption

Is meant to be shared

Not locked and stored in a closet

Where monsters hide

Raising an army to destroy you

Starting with that simple gossip

It will haunt you

It will hurt you

Then one day it will be toxic

So, have courage to tell your testimony

I am because I know He is holy

He will use me

He will guide me

To help others to be free

It no longer matter

What they say about me

Because I got the Great God 

Standing up for me

My heart is stitched up

My soul is wrapped up

I am renewed

That is why I will never give up

My failures and His grace

Put together is a story

Not the best but somehow

Jesus made it extraordinary

#TheStitch or Speak Your Silence is a nonprofit organization on a mission to conquer the stigma of child sexual abuse. Check it out (https://speakyoursilence.org/).

If you’re an adult who experienced sexual abuse as a child, know that you are not alone. I want to help, you can reach me through my email; jirehadvincula@gmail.com.