From Disgrace to His Grace



My weakness may be seen as a disgrace but I know that I am covered by His Grace.

I love this image. It is metaphorical.

First, the dirt reminds me of my sin. It covers my body. It is the sin that hurts my life and others. The sin that is not pleasing to see. The sin that destroys creation and fellowship with one another. The sin that corrupts the world. Sin that pollutes my heart, mind, and spirit. It is a sin that puts people in isolation instead of communion. I mean, who would want to hang out with this guy, right? So ugly!

Second, the bandana on my head reminds me of my nakedness. I am balding, and I did that to cover my naked head. I cover myself up to hide my weakness, my pain, and definitely my sinful nature. The nakedness of failures. The nakedness that shows my vulnerability. The naked self that illustrates my imperfectness. I don’t want others to see the real me. Who would want to see a receding hairline right?

Third, the brown leaf on top of head reminds me of my pretend lifestyle. The leaf makes me some kind of tribal chief to illustrate leadership and power. But, in reality, it is phony. It is fraudulent. It is not real. It is a facade to show that I am strong but in reality, it is all an act. I do not want you to see the real me so I will pretend to be something else. Of course, if you think I got everything together, then you would want to follow and adore me, right?

However, the best part of the picture is not me; it’s the clear water behind me. It is the water that will cleanse me. The water that will remove the dirt out of my body. The water that will get rid of my bandana. The water that will detach my leaf on my head. It is the water that will show my true nakedness. The water that will cleans my body, my spirit, and my mind. However, this is the nakedness that bares it all. No more dirt, no more clothing, no more fake items. The question is, am I willing to bare it all? Am I willing to jump into the river to be cleansed? It will reveal my nakedness, my failures, my weakness, and my imperfectness.

This is the nakedness that lies my true identity. The true identity when God created us. It is the identity that we start to cover up because of our sin. The identity that we do not want others to show. The identity that we do not want to see ourselves.

So, would you jump?

In spiritual sense, some of us are afraid to fully jump and be submerge in the water because we are afraid for others to see our true selves. We tend to care more about what others see than what God thinks about us. We confine ourselves to the pattern of this world instead of living to what God has created for; to reflect His image.

Personally, I wouldn’t want others to see my true identity but it defeats the purpose of being covered by His grace. If my identity is now in Christ, that I am loved, and cleansed, and I am His child, then, I got nothing to be ashamed of. My imperfectness is just a display to show that even that I am imperfect, God still loves me. And that’s the Gospel.

I am not afraid to talk about suicide, abuse, mental illness, loneliness, depression, trust issues, relationship issues, and other weaknesses and failures that I had and still have because His Grace is like that river that always washes me. I will tell you and show you my identity and it stands with God. This is me, this is who I am, this is what I’ve done, but that’s okay because I know where I am, I am safe in His arm.