13 Reasons Why

Bravo. Brave. Annoying. Triggering. Upsetting, Sad, Real, Truth, Suicidal, Death, Pain, Help, Hope.

These are my 13 Reasons why You should and should not watch this show.

1. Bravo – Well done. The acting, the music, the story line, and the pacing are all in sync to get the viewers captivated. Bravo for the director, producers, actors, and other people that were a part of this show. Well done. You guys are brave.
2. Brave – In a way, that you are bold enough to tackle something that is prevalent and happening, but most people are afraid to talk about. Not because, they are shy or embarrassed but because they just don’t know how. This show is an opportunity for a conversation starter. It provokes a conversation that is quite annoying.
3. Annoying – I do not know how to express what I feel after watching it that it I am annoyed right now. Is it because it happened to me? Is it because I was also a victim of assault? Is it because I am also someone who caused pain and suffering to someone? Is it because I had also the opportunity to help someone but did not do anything about it? Is it because I also asked for help and someone neglected me? Yes, I am annoyed and it triggered me.
4. Triggering – It is a concept that is going around the social media world right now. Triggered is used when you are upset, when you don’t like anything, or when you are emotionally unstable. I am glad that they are talking about, but I am also afraid that it loses its meaning. Trigger events or episodes are not a joke. It is real for me. Watching this show, it triggered so many memories. There was a scene, where I had to pause because I was uncontrollably shaking and crying because I felt the scene. It was hard to watch, but I was watching it. It upsets me.
5. Upsetting – I was upset not because the movie was bad. I was upset because the movie was so powerful to me. I was caught up with what was happening inside a television. I was captivated by the stories that are sad.
6. Sad – It hit my soul. I felt this feeling of loneliness again. I felt the same feeling when I was suicidal. I felt the same feeling when I tried to open up with someone seeking for help. I felt the same feeling when people left me. I felt the same feeling when I just wanted to end the suffering. It was real.
7. Real – This show maybe fictional. The characters are fake. The story is not real life. But the theme is real. It is happening. It happened to me. It is happening to my students. It is happening to my youth. it is happening to my friends. It is happening to your children. Let’s get real. Let’s know the truth.
8. Truth – Rape is not a joke. Attempted rape is not a joke. Suicide is not a joke. Depression is not a joke. Bullying is not a joke. The truth hurts, but it is happening everyday. And not only to children, teenagers, and college students, but also to adults. The truth is, it is painful and traumatizing. No matter how we keep moving forward, it will always be there. And sometimes, suicide is the only option to end it all.
9. Suicide – I’ve been there. I know how it feels. I know the darkness. I know the drowning. I know wanting to express the pain in words but you can’t. Ending it all not to be selfish, but to end the pain of suffering. The torment that seems like it will be forever. And death seems to be an answer to end it all.
10. Death – I wish it ends there. But in reality, if we survive or not, the pain continues. Survivors will always have the scars. The pain never stops. Family members will feel a different kind of pain. Grieving can be a lifetime. Friends will ask themselves why. Death is the ugliest thing that is happening in this world. Pain will never stop.
11. Pain – Physical pain. Emotional Pain. Psychological Pain. Spiritual Pain. What else? They are real. And I don’t care what else is out there, but I want you to know that you are not alone. Ask for help.
12. Help – If you are reading this! Get help. I want to help you. I want to find help together with you. I’ve been to a talk therapy twice for all the BS that happened to me, and that was when I was twenty-seven years old. I do not care if you are a child, a teenager, a young adult, or older. I want to help. There is hope.
13. Hope – My faith in Jesus Christ gave me the courage to seek help. I will be honest with you. God was the first thing that came up to me when I was desperate. Where did I go? Church. However, I felt that the church did nothing to help me. But, I did not stop there. It was my faith that kept me from seeking help. I went to counseling, talk therapy, and seek other people. Yes, I was on my lowest point of life. I even felt that God was not even there when I was desperately seeking Him. However, my faith in Christ gave me that hope that I will be alright. It sounds cliche, but He saved me.

There is no image, there is no spell check, I am completely writing this off the top of my head. I am triggered right now. The show touched my soul. That is why I decided to write all in here. I wish I have never watch it but I am also glad that I did.