Diary Entry: The Road Ahead



It is okay to not be okay.

It is okay to be sad. It is okay to feel pain. It is okay to cry. And, it is okay to get upset.

I will go against to the usual post in social media. No food, no selfie, no highlights, but a raw unattended feeling of reality. It is not all about happiness and fun.

Right now, I just want to cry. There is something heavy deep within that I am having migraines and nightmares again.

And, I know why.

  1. I am stressed out on what I will do after I graduate.
  2. I am getting involved in ministry once again, and my trust issue is acting up.
  3. I went to a familiar place, and it triggered so many painful memories.
  4. I watched 13 Reasons Why, and it opened up old wounds.
  5. I am preaching on April 30, and my topic is about suicide.
  6. I have a big project due soon.
  7. I am turning 30 in a few days.

I really do not want to go in deep depression again. I do not want to feel that pain again. I don’t want to run away again. I don’t want to push people. I don’t…

However, the road ahead may be unclear, but I know who is with me. My hope is in Christ. He guides me with His Word. Matthew 6:34 says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Therefore, I know that I will be alright. I have people praying for me. I have people reaching out for me. I have people that supports me. I am not alone. 

And, even if I am, I will never be for Christ is enough for me.