Diary Entry: The Road Ahead

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It is okay to not be okay.

It is okay to be sad. It is okay to feel pain. It is okay to cry. And, it is okay to get upset.

I will go against to the usual post in social media. No food, no selfie, no highlights, but a raw unattended feeling of reality. It is not all about happiness and fun.

Right now, I just want to cry. There is something heavy deep within that I am having migraines and nightmares again.

And, I know why.

  1. I am stressed out on what I will do after I graduate.
  2. I am getting involved in ministry once again, and my trust issue is acting up.
  3. I went to a familiar place, and it triggered so many painful memories.
  4. I watched 13 Reasons Why, and it opened up old wounds.
  5. I am preaching on April 30, and my topic is about suicide.
  6. I have a big project due soon.
  7. I am turning 30 in a few days.

I really do not want to go in deep depression again. I do not want to feel that pain again. I don’t want to run away again. I don’t want to push people. I don’t…

However, the road ahead may be unclear, but I know who is with me. My hope is in Christ. He guides me with His Word. Matthew 6:34 says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Therefore, I know that I will be alright. I have people praying for me. I have people reaching out for me. I have people that supports me. I am not alone. 

And, even if I am, I will never be for Christ is enough for me.

 

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