You probably noticed it, but I am struggling. However, because of the things that I’ve learned over the past three years, I know now how to cope when it comes to changes.
I apologized if I have to say no when you invite me. It is not that I do not like you, I am struggling to get out of my bed. I would rather just stay alone that socialize. I would rather sleep than be up. But, you see me anyways, You see me out, playing basketball, laughing, teaching, and doing things like everything is normal. But, deep inside, I want to scream, deep inside, I feel like dying.
But, I’m okay. I am just adjusting to all the changes. I got promoted at work. I applied for my AG credentials. I am writing curriculum for church. I am getting to know someone. And the biggest change, I bought a new car, meaning I have to say goodbye to my old friend, let’s call her, “B”, my Nissan Hardy Pick Up Truck.
We’ve been together for almost 12 years. She has helped plenty of people. Birthdays, she was there. Christening, she was there. Moving, she was there. Need a ride, she was there. Camping, she was there. Church equipment, she was there. Storage place, she was there. Bed, she was there. a place to cry, she was always there.
However, when it comes to changes, you have to let go of the past. It is time to make wonderful memories with my new truck. I have a new truck to take care of now. Wash her, clean her, put gas on her, and make sure she is well.
Things are changing in my life. I can sense it. And I know that it is not over. There are more things to come. A part of me is happy and excited, the other part is filled with anxiety. All I know is that GOD IS IN CONTROL.
We need to change. We need to grow. I asked several youth how was their spiritual life like was ten years ago. Some remember things, some smiled and had nostalgic memories. One thing I remember was, I was twenty years old, I broke up with my girlfriend, and I made a promise to God, that I will pursue Him with all my heart. And, here I am. I am way closer to God than ten years ago.
I challenge everyone to seek God. Give everything, I mean everything. You are willing to give up everything, your faults, your mistakes, you time, you life, your everything to Him. Because if He is not my Lord of all, then He is not Lord at all. But, He will never leave you, never forsake you, and He will always be in control. He is there when you are suffering. He is there when you dying. He is there when you are crying. In your hellish moment, He is there. He will always be there. Trust in Him. I did. And I am glad that I did.