Afraid?

I just remember something awful that happened few years ago. And, it makes me wonder if I’m still upset about it.

I’m here in the desert, maybe, trying to find my way back home. Understanding what Moses felt in the wilderness. Acknowledging that I may be lost as well.

2019 is not a great year for me. Lots of adjustment, drastic changes due to my health. I am still learning what’s wrong with me, and I am still accepting how to deal with this new me. I am not ready to go public yet, but if you are reading this, then you know that something is wrong. For now, only my family and few close friends know. But, I still have few more tests and results to come. I will deal this for the rest of my life so I have to accept it.

I will be stepping down from my ministry. It has been a great three years with my church, but for now, I have to take care and understanding myself. If you are wondering, I guess you just have to wait.

Honestly, I am afraid. I am scared about the future. Right now, I just want to deal with it, and will try to live my life to the fullest.

For now, I just want to;

– travel, go to different places. East coast, Europe, and go back to Philippines.

– dig deeper with my relationship with Christ. I just want to continue to love Him more than I love Him now.

– earn extra money. Do you know any side hustles? Part time job that I can take.

– and, fall in love again.