Kilala mo ako, ako si Jireh
Simpleng tao, na maraming problema
Sa dami-dami ng kasalanang ginawa
Ni hindi di ko na alam kung saan nagsimula
Puro na lang gulo at pagkakamali
Ako laging nakikita ang laging nasisisi
Hindi ba nila alam na ako’y nahihirapan
Kapag nakikinig sa kanilang mga iyakan
Meron din akong sariling iniisip
Umiiyak tuwing gabi, laging nanaginip
At bigla na lang kitang nakilala
Ibang nadama parang bang ang saya
Nakalimutan na lahat ng aking problema
Ngayon hinahanap ka, asan ka na?
Oh baby girl, kailangan na kita
Dahil sa tingin ko, mahal na nga kita
I wrote this lyric unbeknownst that I was writing the masked pain that I was dealing with in my high school year. It was my junior year, when my symptoms of PTSD and Depression started occurring. There were reasons why I was so emotional during my High School years.
The line, “sa dami-dami ng kasalanang ginagawa. Ni hindi di ko na alam kung saan nagsimula,” (all the the sins that I have committed, I don’t even know when it began.), is me expressing my anguish and pain about the abuse when I was young. I always thought that it was all my fault.
The line, “Meron din akong sariling iniisip. Umiiyak tuwing gabi, laging nanaginip.” (I have so many things in my mind, I have nightmares and I cry at night.), is me expressing the nightmares that I want to avoid, and I do not want to deal with.
The following lines are just to continue the flow of the chorus because this is a love song. Actually, I think the “baby girl” that I was talking about is, “Ligaya.” She is married with kids now, I think.
This is my English translation:
(Part 1 – My story) You know me, my name is Jireh. Just a simple guy, but have so many problems. I have done so many bad things, I don’t know where to start. There is so much troubles and mistakes. It is always my fault. They don’t know that I am hurting too when they cry because I have my own problems, that nobody knows. I cry at night and I have nightmares. (Part 2 – love song lines) But, I met you, and things change. I am happy that I met you. I have forgotten about my pain. Oh baby girl, where are you? I think I need you because I think I have fallen for you.
It is nice to hear it again and dissect the lyrics. It is a great reminder the changes that one has to go through. A way of saying, “You have done well, my child. This was you, this is you now.”